So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
