walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
