It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Randomize
