i permit you to call me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
