he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
