im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
