Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
