just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
