its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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