vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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