And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
