Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
