So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
operation harelip BJ is a go
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
