forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
