I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
