What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
