my mouth tastes like poor choices
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
