i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the condom got lost in my hair
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
