My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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