hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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