she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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