There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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