The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
