R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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