He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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