I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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