I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
