the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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