If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
