I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
