sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
