Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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