you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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