I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Randomize
