East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
