Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
