Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
