NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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