The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
