Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
