I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
