dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
honey bunches of taint.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
