I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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