Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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