Apparently you make a good broom.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize