Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
