I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
