that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
