just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
