But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
