Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
