Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
