Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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