i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
