just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
