2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
