I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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