Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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