He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. Itβs been a very successful and slutty partnership
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