Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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