Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
