He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
