it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
